Women's right

I attended kursus kahwin last weekend in Mont Kiara.

On that day, I found that many women today, do not know of their rights.

(Some/Few/Many- Not sure) men made women thinks they OWN them and that marriage has no way out.

Of course we get married with the intention to make it everlasting and eternal or should I say 'till death do us part'?

InsyaAllah, I hope every marriages for everyone I know will kekal sampai akhir hayat, happillyyy ever after.. However, there are (so many) unfortunate couples out there who might not be so lucky... My concern is for the battered wife. It hit me, that sooo many women (especially malay wives who lives in rural areas) doesnt know theire rights because they were never informed formally nor taught of their rights.

Of course when one were to get married, mothers will always teach their daughthers on how to become a good wife, but never on what you should do when your husband mistreated you. To some, they might say ' haaa, nak buat apa cakap pasal cerai-cerai ni? minta ke?'

I believe women should be inform of their rights before they get married. Im lucky I learn my rights through law school.

I still remember my chambering days where we had to volunteer (well it was a requirement for chambering actually) at the legal aid centre, a muslim women came to the centre and seek for legal service. Of course, we couldnt offer help (short fall of malaysian legal aid, will write on this soon), she wanted to seek for injunction against his husband who beat her up like a pulp every other day.

Out of curiosity, I asked; 'Kak, kenapa tak bercerai je?'. 'Dah minta dah, suami saya tak nak ceraikan'. Ladies.. it is true that hak menceraikan/menjatuhkan talak is within the husband, but muslim women has the right to seek for divorce through fasakh.

Please say it with me..

'Muslim women has the right to seek for divorce through fasakh. Wanita Islam boleh menuntut penceraian melalui fasakh'.

Please please please help to spread the words.. especially to those unfortunate women who has been oppressed and suffer all this years. Some of them really doesnt know!

The ustaz himself affirm one of my belief- 'A beater will never change'. If your boyfriend of fiance lay his hands on you, WALK AWAY. Its easier to said than done, I know.. but sit down and think. U think u can live like that for a year? 2 years? how about in 20 years? well and good IF he can change, chances are that he wont, can you live like that? broken lips, blue black eyes every now and then? WALK AWAY.

Another thing the ustaz said that I concur is that, for a muslim, you should find a man who prays. Not because he wants to impress your parents, or because its friday prayers. When he prays, he will not do all sorts of bull crap like cheat on you, beat you up when he come back home drunk or abandon you and your kids. If you dont believe me, try to differenciate the character of your guy friends who prays and who doesnt.. You will find that the prayers somehow form some uniformity in their characters; responsible, loyal and kind.

I found a man with that quality. I can only pray he maintain that way till we are old and grey :). This man always make me feel safe, secured and most importantly tenang when he is around. He has that aura that is really soothing no matter how big of a mess Im in. Ok, enough, gusshy mushy.

During the course, I was abit heated up, when one ustaz was soo bold in saying 'Orang perempuan selalu bersedia sahaja la, suami awak ada 3 tempat kosong lagi'.
I wanted to address the issue, but since he had moved to another topic, i leave it be then.

Let me share with you something. It is true that lelaki have the priviledge to kahwin 4. But please be reminded that you need to ensure you MAMPUUUUU to engage pologamized marriage. Ladies, a little tip.. You wajib to be provided with allowance, house, car and gifts. Once you can see your husband is abit pelik melik, SHOP!

One might question, what if he still mampu and wants to berpoligami? And here you are, crying your eyeballs out, day and night, lost weight more than 8kg in 3 months, gone through depression? Again, you may seek for fasakh atas alasan that the husband's action has caused darar to you (pain - emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually)

Ladies, please remember, its not the end of the world. There are always a solution. Never settle for second best. But hey, Im not supporting divorce application here, ok? Please let us be clear. Im saying, women has rights in marriage. But please THINK THINK THINK and THINK again before you get married. Lets make it last, shall we?

During the course, statistic shows that divorce in Malaysia happen every 15 minutes! every 15 minutes, there will a couple that agrees (voluntary or by force) to divorce. sad isn't it? sigh.

I absolutely would recommend all b2b and groom-to-be to attend the kursus at the mont kiara kursus kahwin by siarra &dinderk. The centre, run by a lovely friendly couple, were so convienient and cozy. You can check them out at facebook. Just type 'Kursus Kahwin Mont Kiara'.

You can have lunch with your partner at awesome places like meatworks, tenji, ole ole bali, dubvronik etc.

Its only RM80 and you will get your certificate 3 days after, either through post or you can self collect it yourself. All you got to do is check the date at their website or facebook. Sms Amir or sher your fullname and IC. Attend the 2 days course and wallaaaa'. You're all set to be married ;p